Our baby was planned. People often look at me funny when I say that because why would a 20 year old plan to have a baby? We couldn’t risk getting pregnant by surprise. Why? Simply put, illness and medications.
I’ve been mentally ill a long time. Psychosis, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and way too many others. However, with illness comes meds. Antipsychotics, mood stabilisers, antidepressants, benzodiazepines. It’s always fun at the doctor when they ask what I’m on.
I've also always wanted to be a mum. You'd ask me what classes I wanted to take, or what university I wanted to go to, and my answer would be 'why can't I do a parenting course?'. It's also quite normal among my friends to get married and have kids young- one of my best friends, also 21, is married with 3 kids! My husband and I also decided it was better to have kids young as we knew our health was just going to deteriorate, so it made sense to have kids while we could still do some things with them.
I was on a mood stabilizer (sodium valproate) and an antidepressant (Pristiq) that I knew weren’t safe for pregnancy, though my others were, so months before we wanted a baby, I had to make a plan to come off those meds.
I changed antidepressants (Sertraline) and increased the hear-no-voices one (Seroquel), and confirmed that the sleep physician was okay with my benzo (Clonazepam).
Staying on meds is important, especially with the hormone changes throwing everything out of whack. If a med can affect the baby, like Clonazepam had a chance to, you get to weigh the less of two evils. A tired baby at birth was worth the risk, so they didn’t get to experience my night terrors in the womb. (Even if newborn withdrawal was a terrifying prospect!) But a baby needs their mother, and a mother needs to be somewhere in the realm on sanity.
3 months later I got a positive pee-stick, and got super excited. I stayed on the Clonazepam (1mg) and the Seroquel (100-150mg) throughout my pregnancy. I came off the sertraline by 28 weeks due to mood fluctuations (bipolar rollercoasters!) and anxiety.
The baby was kicking like mad by 20 weeks (I was getting 10 kicks in under a minute most days, so much for Clonazepam!) and always measuring well.
I gave birth at 39 weeks (full induction, just in case anything went wrong), and continued my meds, with the sertraline added back in at 10 days post-partum.
My baby was much bigger than expected (9lb!) but otherwise extremely healthy. I would even hazard a guess that the meds didn’t affect her at all.
If you’re chronically ill and thinking about starting a family, be open with all your caregivers. Sometimes you’ll have to change meds, but more often than not there’s a high chance they won’t really affect your baby. And at the end of the day, you need to look after yourself first and foremost to be able to have the family you dream of. A baby isn’t a baby, without her mum.
One great source that I used to decide what meds to stay on was "LactMed". It compiles all the relevant studies about pregnancy and breastfeeding on many different medications, so you only have to go to one place. I also consulted my lactation consultant, who called an extremely reliable source in the world of perinatal medications: Rodney White at Monash Health.
You may also like Parenting with Chronic Illness: Pregnancy. Just click the picture to read all about it!
The medical information on this site is provided as a personal anecdote only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.If you need perinatal mental health supports in an emergency, call your local hospital or E.D. (000). They're typically the best supports to help you along the way in an emergency. Alternatively, Beyond Blue (www.beyondblue.org.au; 1300 22 4636), P.A.N.D.A. (http://www.panda.org.au; 1300 726 306) or even Lifeline (https://www.lifeline.org.au, 13 11 14).
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